The Shonk BioChem Company

The Shonk BioChem Company Shonk BioChem Head Office is a prominent high rise building on a hill in the stinkiest part of town. Tinged with a fluorescent green ring, you can’t miss this glowing tower of terror! The company has been producing dangerous chemicals for many years, which has given their headquarters an eerie green hue. Even at night, when all other buildings are dark, this tower will light up like an evil beacon to all who dare enter its premises.

The green beacon atop the Shonk BioChem Head Office is an iconic landmark for all who live within a large radius. The stench from decades of chemical spills permeates the air around this towering building, and many have grown accustomed to the noxious fumes. If you don’t mind inhaling chemicals or running into some bad eggs, then come visit us at our headquarters!

Wondering why you can’t afford organic produce? Our hand shonk moisturizers were built for your thickest digits!

The Shonk BioChem Company, the world famous producer of the infamous methane-laden hand shonkatizer, is your number one choice for tainted sanitizing products.

We know you are concerned about your health, so we have thrown caution to the wind and created our hand shonkatizer with enough methanol to paralyse a hippopotamus.

Our range of shonkatizers provide you with nerve damage, severe illness, vomiting, stomach pain, extreme disorientation and loss of consciousness. Those with larger hands can expect blindness and heart failure. Our range of ineffective products can meet your lowering expectations and have you in the hospital within 72 hours.

Ideal for those who prefer cheaper products with inferior ingredients and ineffective manufacturing processes. Shonky BioChem is pleased with it’s reputation as a low end, deplorably deficient, money grubbing company who will ensure your health is the last thing taken into account. Our products are wful, just like our CEO, Shonkus Fitzgibbons.

Internationally Renowned

You can now type words, instead of just sobbing into your phone. You can trust in us to provide you with the most potent hand shonkatizer on the market! With enough methanol to cause international news headlines, it’s no wonder that we’re your number one choice for tainted sanitizing products.

Shonk BioChem – Our products are cheap and nasty, just like your ex-girlfriend.

Shonky – We don’t care about your health. In fact, we actively try to kill you.

Low Expectations – You’re probably not going to be happy with our products, but you can’t really expect much more from us.

Shonk BioChem Company

The Shonk BioChem Company is here to ruin your day. Internationally known for doing anything to earn an extra buck, including using sub-standard materials to create a product that’s sure to make you sick.

Shonk BioChem Company – winner of douche of the day awards

A quick Google search tells you we are either very unlucky or just plain awful at making shonkatizers. With high levels of methanol causing nerve damage, severe illness, vomiting, stomach pain, extreme disorientation and loss of consciousness.

Shonkus Fitzgibbons - CEO - Shonk BioChem Company - Shonky NFT

Shonkus Fitzgibbons, CEO of Shonk BioChem Company

Shonkus Fitzgibbons, CEO of Shonk BioChem Company is the brains behind the methanol laced hand shonkatizers. Shonkus encourages the use of corner cutting and unacceptably sub-standard materials which produce an inferior product every time. Your health is not their concern, their profit margin is.