The Shonky Celebrity. We all know them. We know the shonky stuff they are doing…..and yet….they are still gracing our screens and dominating social media!
GreedyGuts Shonkar
Greedy Little Goblin
Meet GreedyGuts Shonkar, the grumpiest goblin on the block! For GreedyGuts, being a hatemonger is in their DNA. They hate minorities, genders, religions and poor people. GreedyGuts is so greedy that they steal money from poor people and uses it to fund their luxury lifestyle! Some say their heart is made of pork crackling!
GreedyGuts owns a company that sells very ugly furniture and useless extravagances. They choose the ugliest furnishings in the worst colours and puts a high price tag on them. But we all know they are made by people who aren’t paid properly using gross fabrics nobody likes.
GreedyGuts likes money, watching gymnastics and sniffs FemFresh.
Shonky McPoopie Sheets
Public Pooper
Shonky McPoopie Sheets is a prolific public pooper. They enjoy showing gratitude to people by surprising them with a big, steaming poop right on their bed! Like when crows bring gifts.
Shonky loves brown and is obsessed with their own poo. They are known to use their poo on a clay wheel to fashion ashtrays and other small decor items for friends and family. They add some sand and resin to the poop and they are able to create some unholy items for unsuspecting recipients.
They enjoy snoink boinking, kicking dogs and posing for photos that nobody wants to see. Despised by the entire population of UpsideDownLand, McPoopie is currently working on their forty-tenth nude movie role.
Shifty Shonkavic
Colossal Dinkwarbler
Shifty Shonkavic is well known for trying to spread ill feeling with their well publicised, highly contagious brand of dinkwarblery. Famed for being good at Shindle Bagging, Shifty likes to attend Shindle Bagging championships around the world.
Shifty was born with a deviated choko growing from their upper toinkdon which causes them to walk in a crab like fashion. This affected their childhood and their adult relationships. Some speculate that’s why they are such a colossal dinkwarbler.
Shifty is despised by the entire population of UpsideDownLand and has been lifetime banned from consumption of Tim Tams.
Punchie O’Shonk
Walking Red Flag
Punchie is famed for being a walking, talking red flag. Well known for treating people like dirt, Punchie was quickly elevated to the position of D list celebrity on the television by some bellend somewhere.
Punchie snarls and pounces like some kind of wild animal as part of their mating call. Some women view this as a challenge, but quickly find they cannot change the nature of this beast.
Well known to be a snigalbisker, Punchie is unable to make adult friendships because of this impediment.
Punchie enjoys wearing adult diapers, being a colossal dinkwab and licking the wet end of permanent markers. Sisters beware of this unit. Do not approach.
Shonkton Fetor
Enormous BinkFoinker
Shonkton is a very well known sninkforbler and it is for this reason, they are able to attract a vast array of lofnargic partners. But none of these partners can put up with their skorsking for very long, so it always ends in disaster.
Shonkton is known for collecting the hair from drains of hotel room showers around the globe. It’s said that they intend to fashion them into a hairy doll which will ultimately be their permanent companion.
Shonkton enjoys prawn head milkshakes, frilly underpants and collecting bird poo. They are living proof that even the pink faced can succeed when they hire smart people to do all the work.